I wish I could’ve worked longer last night, but I was so busy yesterday, I only ended up doing the minimum time: thirty minutes. I just couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer. I finished drafting at a quarter till midnight. Way late since I had to be up this morning at five to start running errands.
Stanza three used to be stanza five. I rearranged the order to embrace the narrative quality of this poem and maybe to add a little tension. I mean, the stanza either starts with a “hammer” or “Samael.” Pretty intense, right?
1st Draft 2nd Draft
There’s this hammer Old Samael’s
banging lifted waffle hammer,
out nails, clawing sympathetic
up the ones that as a punch press,
won’t settle and bangs down lifted
sings hymns in tune up nails, claws out
loud and righteous unsettled pegs,
“bang, bang, bang, bang.” and silences.
The “silences” and “nail” bits are pretty important to what is going on with the poem. To be real, every word in a poem is important, that’s why the drafting process is so important. Okay, I know not everyone believes conciseness is important. There are some really long poems out there that do a lot of nothing, but sound way cool doing that bunch of nothing.
The thing is, the silence and nails concept, is important to my the direction I’m trying to pursue. We’ll explore that more as the poem progresses.
As always, thanks for reading this update. Please follow my progress, like my articles, and comment as often as you can. These steps will help me as I work to improve writing poetry and comics.